Don't Stop Talking About Desmond "Etika" Amofah

So as many of you probably must have heard by now, the news has spread fast because I think a lot of people were waiting for confirmation. There was a YouTuber by the name of Desmond Etika. Even using past tense is new and weird. A YouTuber by the name of Etika was found dead as confirmed by police. Affirming this earlier, was an eight-minute video called “I’m sorry” that I believe was on his channel but has since been removed.

Other people have re-uploaded it. And I will say, having watched that video, even though I was not very familiar with him, I couldn’t help but hear and understand a good portion of what he was saying.

I will say, if you are in a vulnerable place, don’t watch it. Although that’s not the purpose of this, to make this in any way about me. And then when looking through this story, I can’t help but feel like this was a person who drowned in a crowded room.

Like a lot of us are like that, especially in a supercharged situation when you have people that are on camera or have enormous audiences.

For a lot of people, it can become tough to tell the difference between a cry for attention, someone faking something, and a call for help. It feels like more and more we’re trained not to take things that we see online as reality or dangerous.

This notion stems from the belief that because someone has a broad audience that in some way they’ll always be okay, because how can you really be in a wrong place if you can do a lot of what you want and you’re eating and sleeping well?

A spotlight doesn’t hug back. And I wish that there was something in this video that I could say that in any way would make anything better right now, at this moment, for the people that are impacted by this.

But the closest thing I have for that is sending my love, and my thoughts, and my good wishes to those impacted by this. And of course, a reminder, everyone’s saying it, but it’s really, it does need to be talked about that if you seek help, you are not weak.

You are deserving of love, if you feel like you need it, redemption for the chance to change, for the opportunity to do better. Even though a lot of the time when you have success, you feel even worse, even guiltier for feeling horrible.

And that can make you feel ungrateful, but we’re all human. The way that I often think about the world is we’re all different kinds of broken, and we have varying levels of how well we shield it.

Etika was suffering from a self-diagnosed mental illness before his death, as a now-deleted YouTube video which has been circulating the video-sharing website showed.

The video shows Eitka talking into the camera sharing the realities of his mental struggles “I really had no intention of killing myself,” Etika said. “But I’d always push it too far I guess I am mentally ill.” Etika was dating Christine Cardona at the time. Here’s what you need to know about the YouTube star’s former girlfriend:

1. The Ups and Downs of Their Relationship

According to Cardona, their Relationship Was Not Easy Towards the End of Erik’s LifeAs stated to Inside Edition, Cardona said her relationship was rocky towards the end of Etika’s life “He’s never admitted he has a problem,” Cardona, 26, said.

“He always seems to deny the existence of mental health disorders in our relationship; it wasn’t easy.” Etika, 29 at the time of his death, came out prior to his disappearance in April to confront his struggle with mental health disorders “I really had no intention of killing myself,” Etika said in a YouTube video. “But I’d always push it too far I guess I am mentally ill.”

2. Etika Received Treatment In The Past

Before Etika’s disappearance, Cardona Spent a Whole Day Observing Her Boyfriend’s Mental State. Cardona last saw Etika in April, just before he disappeared, according to Inside Edition.

She spent a whole day with him after he sent her illegible texts and posted disturbing tweets “I was concerned so I went over to his house and the whole day was observing his mental state,” Cardona also said Etika was in and out of the hospital throughout their relationship which lasted from 2011-2017.

3. Cardona Was Also a Gamer

Just like Etika, Cardona Was Also a Gamer Who Went by the Name Alice Pika. Etika, who was active on Twitch as well as YouTube, vlogged regularly about video game news and updates.

His ex-girlfriend, Christine Cardona went by the name Moniker Alice Pika on Twitch, as she was also an avid gamer. She describes herself as a mental health advocate, vlogger, model, and cosplayer, according to her Twitter account

4. Cardona Was Hopeful About Erik’s Health

Preceding to Etika’s Death, Cardona Had Hope Her Ex-Boyfriend Was Going to Take His Mental Health Seriously. Cardona was optimistic about Erik’s mental state after his disappearance and preceding his eventual death.

Although the cause of Eliza’s death is still unknown, Cardona held hope about her ex-boyfriend’s health “He’s in pain but not harmed, I’m sure of it,” she greeted. “Have faith that he’s going to take his health seriously” The tweet was full of hope as it featured several photos of Etika playing with Cardona’s cat “Hope these pictures can bring some positivity to this dark situation,” she greeted.

5. A Grand Funeral For Etika

Cardona Wants Etika’s ‘Funeral to Be as Big as His Personality.’ She has taken to Twitter to express her emotions after finding out about the death of her ex-boyfriend “I want his funeral to be as big as his personality, his heart, and his spirit, and I loved him.

He is finally at peace,” she tweeted after finding out about Etika’s death Cardona maintained hope on her ex-boyfriend after he disappeared. “I refuse to give up hope,” she greeted on the night before the police confirmed Etika’s death.

She also felt a little hopeless trying to sort through the thoughts running through her mind last night as she posted to Twitter she was feeling alone “I don’t know what to do.

How am I supposed to sleep? I should be messaging my friends, but I’m so tired of repeating the same things over I wish someone were here to hug me. I feel so alone,” she tweeted. Cardona seems to be at peace, as she is focused on making Etika’s funeral the best it can be.